My happy around me     

    Now there are six members in my family: father, mother, brother, my husband, little daughter and me. Perhaps someone would ask that how big my house is enough to involve such many people. I can tell you that the year before last I was so wise that I bought a house bout 135m², 4060 yuan per sq.m. Now the price of house has risen too high for me to pay for it.The same house with mine on house exchange center is about 9000 yuan per sq.m. On Oct.23rd I moved to my new house and six people began to live together.

I am working in Changhai endoscopy center of digestive department, which is an emphases subject of the army and our whole country. Our endoscopy center takes on many therapy tasks other than ordinary gestroscope such as ERCP, EUS, TACE, esophagus stent and so on. So I often go home late and have not enough time to take care of my kid. After my daughter was born two years, my parents and parents in law looked after her in turn. I have ever thought that the children should live with their parents because it is helpful to them. But in this society, the young husband and wife are all trying their best not only to earn money to hold their family but also to expand their enterprise. Most children cannot help but be sent to the full-time school or be cared by their grandparents. Next year I am going to send her to kindergarten where she can get normal education which cannot be do at home.
   The problem of children's education is one of the most important affair to many young parents. Many parents send their kids to study other skills during the spare-time. As a mother, I understand the their feelings. They wish their children to be either “drangon” or “phenix”.A doctor in my department tell us that her daughter are studying three other skills except for her main subjects. So her daughter only has her rest time at sunday afternoon. I think this girl is wretched because she hasn't her own time to deal with her own things. Sunday afternoon is a limited half day for her to exert the interest. My opinion of children's education different with others is that looking for her interest and culture her.
My parents are very virtuous people. My mother was sent to support countryside when she graduated from junior high school. She had been staying there for about 30 years and devoted all her youth. My dad is a north people and he has a big heart. Fifteen years ago they migrated to the south in order to give my brother and me good living and education conditions. Now my brother and me have our own jobs in Shanghai. My parents are living here with me affording my family daily spending and caring for my daughter and me. I thank them very much.
   My husband is a classmate of university and there is deep feeling between us. I always think that "A man with a family is very happy, but a man holding a family is very “hardership”. Furthermore he also works in SMMU. He is too busy to attend the family. My parents and I understand him. Now my family is harmony and I feel happy.

   With every newborn baby comes the promise of a second Renaissance; a future culture enlightened by a philosophy that embraces and promotes life. Indeed, our drive for reproduction is so strong most of us wait our whole lives for the fantastic moment of learning we are going to have a child. It is right up there next to finding a mate with which to make one! As children we were fascinated by mommies, daddies and babies. We anticipated being parents from the time we were capable of conceiving it. Now, as rational adults we must channel this energy for cultivating in our children the critical value of reason.
When I look into my children's eyes, I see an innocence and purity that compels me to want the world to be a safer, more benevolent place for them to live. I believe that through neighbourhood that promote and teach rational values. The foundations can be laid for a future in which children on the whole are properly cared for, are taught that the universe is benevolent and causal, and that self-interest is virtuous. Children raised with these ideals know how to think when they reach adulthood.
A culture that embraces virtues such as honesty, rationality and pride does not come into existence by chance; it must be brought about by individuals who have the courage to teach such principles to their children.
   A child is the most precious resource known to man; they are irreplaceable individuals inherently deserving of love, respect, and proper care. Why is it, then, that so many children are abused, mistreated, and neglected the world over? Because life-negating philosophies permeate every culture on earth. Productive, self-confident, thinking human beings are not just born, they are cultivated through rational, principled parenting.
   If there is to be a second Renaissance, one in which reason, integrity and productivity abound, then it is only through the gateway of objective philosophy that it is to be discovered.
Please celebrate life through rational principles, and may our children be healthier, happier individuals because of it! Do remember the soul is healed by being with children!

Children on the way
    Once upon a time, I read a piece of storiette in the newspaper. It narrated a story of a woman and her son.:In a village of Russia, a countrywoman whose husband kissed good-bye to her depended on each other with her son, a young boy. They were not plentiful but happy and quiet. Once a time, the young boy rescued a young beautiful noble girl and he had falled in love with her, but she did not know a little about it. For the sake of approaching the young beautiful girl, the young man made a torturous decision. He left his home and let his mother alone. He went to the manor which belonged to the girl’s family and worked as a gardener. What all he did was in order to strive for the opportunity of speaking to the girl or watching her for a moment.
    On the setting-out day, there was a light rain. The rain dripped down from the eaves. The lonely mother sat on the doorsill. She looked after her only son who walked along the manor of a distant place. He was filled with rapture. His lonely mother clapped eyes on the views of her only son’s clinging back and prayed quietly : " my child, I do nothing but hope that you could turn round to eye your mother, even once ... " But the young farmer was so bright and light-hearted that he did not turn round to his mother. He kept walking straightforwards, whistling sound and cheerfully, going without turn-round all along.
In order to win the love of the pretty girl, the daughter of the manorial owner, the pitiful young person enjoyed the donkeywork as if it were malt sugar. In harvest time, on a unfortunate day, he falled off from the high haystack and met with his death.
   As soon as she heared the news, the mother hurried on with her way to see her dead son. They had been separated for a long time. She never thought that their meeting again would be such a drop scene. When her son was buried, she hugged her ice-cold son in the arms closely, without a ghost of moan. And two lines of hot tears were slided from the woman’s face. Previously, she was so stubborn that the countrywoman never shed tears of all the life. She only said: "My child !... "
This storiette remained fresh in my memory up to now. All of us are like that pitiful young boy,and each of us always carries a traveling bag and says “let’s go!”. We went to the destination wholehearted and directly. We left the home and never turned round.
At that time of day, I had left the courtyard and went a long way. When I turned around unconcernedly, I saw my gerontic grandmother and my white-headed parents who still standed for a long while at the entrance to the village and were looking after me. When I go over every time, my relatives all stand for a long while and look after me. Because I never turned round, I knowed nothing. Until that day, I turned round and gave a wave of hand to say goodbye to them for the first time. I retain the memory of my family’s smile forever. Year by year, time is gone. My relatives who standed for a while at the entrance to the village could not see me off again. And now, there are only my father and mother stand for a while and look after me. The mothers always worry over the children on the way. When a faquir is on the road, the furthest misgiving worry his relatives is his safety. I am cocksure to this opinion. So the best of all experience what I prize is announcing good news without dolorous news.
   Sometimes, the strongest children can not play the toughest in the face of their mothers. Because she is the people loves you best in the world. Sometimes, the frailest mother can play the strongest role in the face of her children. Because she is the people loves you best in the world. A reporter writed a article about Yu Yuchun. When he falled down, the society eulogized him and publicized him. They regarded him as a hero. But his father only said that: " The people all sing the praise of him as a hero. But speaking to his father, he is only a son and he was dead. "I learn those words by heart forever just like that I retain the memory of my family’s smile forever.
   When you are on the road, you ought to call your mother and say safety between whiles. That's all.

GuanJianzhong

My Ideas about Family
   What is the ideal family like? How to make your family live in harmony? People like to think about these questions, however, different people get totally different ideas. If you want to become a member of happy family, you need to think of these issues. Here are my some ideas about family.
    Importance of Independence. Every member of the a family is an independent person, who has some unique character brought up by his or her own habitation, experience, the degree of being educated and so on. Independence between wife and husband is very important in a family. Independence, what is called, means that each of spouses should own idea about anything. If one has no idea about anything, and or she or he will depend on the other much more, so the other will be less interested in ones than before, your family will be at risk. But every coin has two sides. If every spouse is too independent of each other, and everyone deals with an thing in own way regardless of the other, then they will be likely to walk apart from each other and end up as strangers. If the spouses are independent and rely on each other and they can discuss and come to understanding about solving problems, they will live in harmony and be happy.
   How to Settle the Quarrel. To be honest, I think quarrelling between the couples is a normal thing; it can help us to understand each other much more. First, we are from different families and have different education and living environments, so we will have various thoughts about things. In addition, each of us have own attitude about the education of our child. Since it is so, we have to discuss it, sometimes even quarrel about it. By this way, we get better understanding of each other, in a sense, I think it is a lubricator to smoothen and improve our relationship. Certainly, quarrelling with your spouse is a two-edge sword as it is said. On the other hand, it has negative effects on the relationship of the couples. If you do not care for it, it will harm your spouse and yourself. If you cannot find a good way to settle it, it will hurt your feelings. I think quarrelling does not matter if you have love in your heart.
   How to Educate Children. How to educate children is a challenging topic. All of us hope our children become successful in their careers. Of course, I also hope he have a happy and healthy life and be useful to society. First of all, we should give him enough love and let him grow up happily. In addition, as he does not know what is wrong or right, we should educate him what to do and what not to do, and let him know the reasons. Only in this way will he be a righteous man. Last, we should offer him good educational circumstance, and he will get good education. This is my main idea. If I have a chance to choose freely, I will have at least two children, a boy and a girl. When they are young, they can play with and care for each other while we are working, and thus they can learn to help others who are in trouble. If we have two or more children, they will not have stronger sense of superiority. They have to learn to face the reality and will be down-to-earth persons. What's more, they will take care each other. In addition, they would have time and vigor to care for us when we are not able to attend ourselves. Thus the aged problem in our society will be settled.
  How to Make Parents Have Happy Senectitude. Whether we like it or not, our parents are responsible for us at least until we're out of high school. All of us have a responsibility to support our parents while at the senior age. It is a social morality and Chinese tradition for the children to take care about their parents' senior life with their capacity while the parents are in great need. They stay in home all days after retirement, and sooner or later, they will feel alone. If we live together, they will have things to do, such as taking care of kids, doing some household, and so on. They will be satisfied with what they have done and realize their values. On the other hand, we can know what they want and think through communication and we can know their health conditions and care for them. Of course, we have time to communicate work and other things with them after work, and they can understand what happened outside. There is no substitute for caring, loving, and honest communication between parents and children. Learn to say what you mean, listen to what your parents have to say, and spend time together. Our parents will have their beatific late years.
Remember, the effort to communicate family members is well worth the time and investment. Perhaps, miracles wait around the corner...

A key to happiness in my family
    Marriage is three parts love and seven parts forgiveness of sins.It is the critical factor to maintain harmonious relationship between couples.
It is said that the difference between men and women is attributed to their coming from different planets,which results in quarrels.In my opinion,quarrelling between couples is inevitable,because increasing stress of work and living makes us lose patience.If we fail to know how to deal with it,the marriage will die in the end. Thus we should better know the importance of forgiveness.We all make mistakes in past and clear those,and this clearing process is called “Forgiveness”.It is sometimes said “to error is human;to forgive,unusual.”While we forgive,we will be forgiven.As we show mercy to others,mercy will be shown to us.As we have fun,with joy,kindness,and happiness,we will reap more joy,kindness,and happiness. How do we succeed in forgiving our lovers?Each person may have their own method.
   In my opinion, listen is the firsrt key to forgiveness.In fact,communication is impossible if we can not calm down and listen to other’s explanation.Men need to develop ways of listening.Frankly speaking,I often quarreled with my wife,especially when we were decorating the new house.Sometimes she forgot what she had promised to do or bought many decorating materials useless.There are too much difference in our ideas.The result was that we complained each other and felt depressed.Sometimes I thought I was my fault.Why cannot I forgive her?If we complain at all times,why we got married? Then I keep quiet to listen to her sincerely. Finally we come to terms when we understand the idea of each other.Many psychologists claim that listening first si a good way to communicate best.Don’t think about what we are going to say, just listen.Then we may experience a new way of knowing this person.
   Secondly,recollect some sweet memories when you are angry with your spouse.It is useful to forgive your spouse’s mistakes.When I am irritated,I often try to remember what we did together,such as enjoyed cooking,traveling and spending countless hours doing whatever we dream up that day for fun.Then I would be calm gradually and sensible to think.We live in a society which is full of stress.More and more people judged life in terms of wealth rather than in terms of such immeasurable faculties such as happiness,creativity,well being,generosity of spirit and a sense of compassion.Since many disputes come from the different thought of money,we should know the quality of life is. In the Tao there is a thought that “when there is no desire there is peace.”(from Tao Te Ching)
   Thirdly,being good at appreciating your spouse.Everyone wants to be loved,despite his flaws,and needs, to be satified mentally as much as physically.My wife majored in Japanese when she studied in university.Her distinguished language competence embody not only in Japanese but also in communication everyday life.But I am nearly an idiot in this aspect.On the contrary,I do well in physical work.Different advantages make us get together,while different growing backgrounds brought misunderstandings.If we understand these differences and appreciate other's virtues,we will know why we are wrong and forgive each other. If you tend to resolve your problems unrealistically,the appreciation can not occur.Without mutual understanding and respecting,love can not be balanced and will disappear eventually.
   Forthly,if we can not stop the quarrellings between,we should resort to our parents or common friends.Their words is more objective than ours,and make us think wisely.When my wife quarrelled with me ,she like to seek hely from my mother.Then my mother will persuade me patiently,and it is easier for me to accept her advices. After all,everyone is difficult to admit his/her mistake even he/she have recognized it because of “face”. Your common friends is more likely to understand you because of same age,and they also can help us eliminate the conflicts when need.Good relationship of your family and common friends is indispensable for forgiveness.
   Lastly,men amd women need to share the responsibility in building a good relationship. I always compromise with my wife,because my wife is younger than me and I think that man should be more magnanimous than woman.Furthermore,woman has more burden of family than man does. So as a husband,we should care for our wives wholeheartedly. If we repine too often,the affection between couple will be badly-wounded.We should try our best to talk with each other to solve problems when diffenrent ideas occur.It is well known that people in anger can do something foolish things.So forgiveness can be a lubricator to smoothen relationship and achieve a better understanding of each other.
In the Bible,Jesus said,“fogive not seven times,but seventy-times seven.”It is also true, in a family ,that we should remember forgiveness is the key to happiness.

Educating children

   Children is important members in the family as the parents.Educating children and making them healthy growth is the obligation of parents. How work as good parents is the important content of family life. How should I work as good parents?
   Frist to educate the child, we should build a kind of family environment with harmonic warmth and respect each other.Parents and children should join some activities together. We also should make the children and parents become equal partners. In such an environment ,Parents can just carry on normal education to the child .
   Secondly, the family should appoint certain orders , these orders can be divided into two kinds. One kind is to the whole family, and all the members of the family, everybody, should observe .The other kind is sure to the child mandatorily ,It is a behavior that is used for restraining children. But now, because a couple have only a child, It make the whole family all regard child as the centre .some parents think if they love children,they should regard the child' s words as one's own behavioural order .In the family life, if restraint which lacks the rule obvious to the child, it is very disadvantageous to the children's growth.
Moreover, each of parents should set an example .parents are usually all the child's first teachers, parents' behavior influences the child's behavior directly. But a lot of require to the children is very difficult to for the parents to accomplish themselives .It must influence parents' status in child's mind . So We educate the children , we are strict with ourselives and let us become a good person.
   Educating children to establish the sense of self-protection and grasp certain self-protection technical ability is also an important thing .The child's security is often one of the content which parents care about mostly.So the child's security must be paid attention to actual life.Parents should carry on serious careful education too, such as children being often at home alone themselives, parents should teach they send measures for preventing and protection of accident . when children active outside, We should educate them observe traffic law . And we also should educate children prevent possible pollution of spirit from outside. It can make them grow up healthy.
   A lot of parents often regard themselves as the centre when they educate the children.Such a method is inadvisable. Because it was the child that accepted the education, child oneself is the key to growing up. Children’s needs have two kinds,one is correct and the other is incorrect . the motive has the same difference. Parents should analyse the child's need , guide the child's correct motive.If parents regard oneself as the center .They may substitute the child's need with parents' need and substitute the child's motive with parents' motive . How to have good result?
   During the process of educating the children in addition.Parents should ponder over the question appearing in the course frequently. Such as “ if did my education method in the past accord with the law ? How to accord with the law by doing? Does my method have a question?” Parents should study from teacher and outstanding parents according to these questions at the same time ,.Parents should also summarize constantly during the process of educating the child. After every period.they should analyse the education measure of the last period and education result calmly. Think how to teach it next. Family had better discuss together, including the children. Summarizing like this. There is a lot of new understanding .It is of much good to improving the family education level constantly.

   I will never forget my wedding in 2004 when my girl friend became my wife. We were in love with each other for five years,now we can understand each other. Although we are happy when staying together, sometimes we have a quarrel .When my wife lost her temper, she said that konwing me and becoming my wife was wrong, even she said she would ask for a divorce.
   How to deal with it? I'll take several steps to solve the problems.
   Firstly, I will keep silent, let my wife expresses herself till she says nothing and controls herself again.Because we both are  angery, shouting at each other doesn’t effect and we cann’t explain everything clearly. Keeping silent, we will have enough time to think over.Why we have a conflict?Why my wife is so angry?Have I done wrong really?Thinking more, we can realize who was wrong ,deal with the present problem calmly,and seek common points while reserving difference.It is not a comprise and it is a strategy. I think it is the best way.
   Secondly,if I find I am wrong,I will make an apology to my wife.I think it is a effective way .It is normal so that I am not asamed of losing men’s face.when I do it,my wife commonly forgives me,then we make friends again and I am happy that I have a considerate wife.If I find I am correct,I will express myself fully and try to persuade her not to misunderstand me .If she could not accept my saying, a quarrel took place.When my wife began crying,I often failed in the quarrel. She always think she is correct for ever.I think it is not an effective way.Until now, I cann’t understand why I am always wrong.I rarely listen to an apology from my wife.However,a quarrel likes a storm and a storm always stops soon.The sun is brigher and the world is more beautiful after a storm.Through a quarrel we can contact with each other fully , we can understand each other well,and we can give out our distress and our oppression.We will get more acquainted with each other and we will be more intimate.
   Thirdly,I will sing high praise for something my wife ever did till she is not angry.I will say she is beautiful not only in her face but also in her heart,she is a very kind woman who can forgive his husband everything, I am very happy because I have a excellent wife,and so on.Although my wife doesn’t belive what I say,she is glad to listen to my praise.Gradually there is a smile in her face.I know she will not quarrel with me.
   Fourthly,I will make use of every chance to deal with our quarrel and do something for her. Generally,women like do shopping.I will ask for my wife to do shopping and buy something she like for her.If my wife  likes eating, I will ask her to go to restaurant to have a good meal.Child is very important for my wife.I maybe tell my child to do something for me in order to change tense relation between his mother and I.
   Besides ,if I cann’t deal with the problem,I will ask for help from my friends,my wife’s friends,my parents-in-law.I will tell them about our quarrel and I want to listen to their attitude to it.I hope they can give me some advice and experience on handling the problem.I seldom use this way .Why?I think telling our quarrel to them is not good thing.I am shy of doing it. It is a quarrel between my wife and me ,and I don’t hope that  too many people know it and are involved in the problem.I will not gain the support of my parents.My wife is very allergic to it and the behavior will aggravate the problem.It is a not good way. I use it unless there is nothing to select.
   Sometimes the several steps above have no effect.How should I do ?I am not clear about it.Some pepole said I should fight with her .I think the man are commonly stronger than the woman .It is obvious that the man should win in the fight.Maybe it is an effective way,but I think a fight can do harm to my wife's body and heart.It can lead to a divorce in the end. I also think a man who always beat a woman is not a true man. Fortunately, a quarrel will dispear naturely in a few days or a few months and my wife and I get together as if nothing takes place. We are happy again.

   Do you think it is ridiculous? I think it is a serious talking. In a family, no quarrel is impossible.The key is how to handle the problem effectively and the aim is to keep a well intimate relation with your lover finally. A quarrel doesn't do harm to relationship of a couple. It is a good lubricator with which we can improve our relationship and achieve a better understanding of each other.

   My wife and I have been married for two years.I love my wife and my family.Being a child to a husband of a family, I have many ideas and understandings on family.

    Family,a simple word consisting of six letters,maybe make up full of our lives.When a man and a woman fall in love,then get married and have one or more babies soon,we consider this process as  an ideal pattern of a family.

   But in the true-life,it is not as simple as above.There are many factors that will obstruct the realization of the ideal model.To a young couple,it is inevitable to quarrel with each other when live together because of great difference in life style and opinion on many things.Moderate quarrels and jangles will do no harm to conjugal feelings but be a kind of lubricator with which we can smoothen our relationship and achieve a better understanding of each other.Of course,if possible,you can communicate with your wife or husband in a better way.

   In family life,it is important to keep both independence and interdependence.There are many things that we should face and deal with alone.Moreover,each of a couple have his or her own privacy,which should be respected by the other side.Some problems are too difficult to be solved without consultation in a family.We would consult with each other and find out a best way to resolve it.

   Sometimes,we will feel some tedious on the conjugal life,and be tired of the two-person world.There are two ways to solve it.For the first way,we can live with either our parents or our parents-in-law if you have no plan to have a baby now.As a young couple,we are so stupid as doing housework.We don't know how to cook delicious food,how to clean our room conveniently and how to wash our clothes cleanly.Actually,many of those problems are the triggers to the quarrels between us.When they live with us,they will help us to do or teach us how to do these things.Our parents,who have devoted to working and bringing us up,will have retired when we get married.We couldn't let them stay alone and feel lonely when we have our nuclear family.We need to build up an extended family where,I think,they will lead a warmer,better and happier life.

   For another way,I think,it is to have a baby.It is well known that babies are the best gifts from the God and the ligaments between husband and wife.Maybe you are already tired of the bald conjugal life and babies will take you happiness.Then you will have many things to deal with such as nursing,which will make you stirring and feel happier than before.

   But,it is desponding that there are a policy of family planning in our country which confine that a couple can only have a child.Although it is necessary to control the increasing population in china, many problems appear when each couple is permitted to have only one child.For example,the aging of the population are becoming the critical concerns of the Chinese society now.I prefer to have two children if we can make a choice freely.There are three reasons for it:Firstly,two children can play with each other and study together in their childhood.Contrarily,it is very dangerous since one child will feel much lonely and be more selfish.Secondly,parents will not be lonely when one of children leaves them for study or work,for they have another child around.Finally,with the development of the country and the increasing population of the elder people,there is more and more burden on young people,not only from society,but also from family.If there are two children in a family,they can help each other when they are in trouble,and correspondingly,responsibility they need to bear will be decreased as well.

   There are also problems when we have more than one child.The most important issue is the large expense that is paid on childern.Now,though our living conditions are becoming better,most of us are not wealthy enough to burden all the costs of the whole family when we have a child.That is to say,the expense we need to pay on children is becoming larger and larger,including the spendings on children’s living and education.And once we have two or more children,could we burden it all?Now,we are studying in SMMU to enrich medical knowledge and promote abilities.It’s high time for us to work hard to win a better condition for our children and our families.

   I love my family,and I will do my best to make my family lead a better life.

Luqingsheng

Changes in Chinese Family

    What's a typical Chinese family like? The first thing coming to many people's minds may be a picture of four generations under one roof. A white-bearded, bald-headed and hunchbacked great-grandfather leads five or so grandfathers, tens of fathers and dozens of children. However, it's difficult to find such a big roof in China's cities today. The past century has witnessed tremendous changes in the urban family. According to three surveys carried out by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences in 1982, 1993 and 1997, more than half of urban families in China are "core families", consisting of a father, a mother and a child. Only 2 percent were of the "four-generation" kind in 1982 and 1997, with the number down to one in 200 families in 1997. The first survey, conducted in 1982, covered five Chinese cities-Beijing, Tianjin, Shanghai, Nanjing, the capital of East China's Jiangsu Province, and Chengdu, the capital of Southwest China's Sichuan Province. The second, in 1993, covered seven cities- Guangzhou, the capital of South China's Guangdong Province, Lanzhou, the capital of Northwest China's Gansu Province, Harbin, the capital of Northeast China's Heilongjiang Province, Beijing, Shanghai, Nanjing and Chengdu. The third, in 1997, focused only on Shanghai and Chengdu. In each survey Chinese families were classified into seven types - the single family (consisting of a single man or woman), the "dink" family, (well-off young couple working with no children), the empty nest family (the children having grown up and left), the core family mentioned above, the trunk family (a couple living with their parents and their children), the joint family (couples living with their parents and their in -laws) and the other family including all other types. Statistics indicate that the percentage of core families among urban families rose from 55 percent in 1993 to 65 percent in 1997. Meanwhile, dink families made up 3 percent of the total in 1997, six times the number in 1993. According to a forecast made by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, the percentage of core families will keep rising together with the number of trunk families, while joint families and empty nest families will decline in number. "The family planning policy is major reason for this trend," said Tan Shen, a researcher at Chengdu Research Institute of Social Sciences. When the only children born after the launch of the family planning policy in the 1970s get married, they will form core families, dink families, trunk families and empty nest families, but never joint families. Another explanation of this trend concerns a practical choice- whether the married couple live with their parents and in this way form a trunk or joint family. Shen Chonglin, a researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences, said there are five factors affect the couple's choice, apart from their personal wishes. These are: Whether the husband or wife live with their parents before marriage; whether they are financially capable of supporting a family; whether they have necessities such as housing; whether their own parents have to be attended to; and whether the couple have enough time to care for their baby or to pursue their careers. For thousands of years in China, it has been traditional for the couple to live with the husband's family. But now, along with drastic social changes, more and more newlyweds choose to form their own family unit in the way they want to, in pursuit of independence and equality. Among 1,600 couples surveyed in 1983, 300 lived with the husband's family, 60 with the wife's family and about four-fifths formed their own units. However, it is interesting to find that in the 1990s more and more newlyweds chose to live with parents, as their brothers and sisters in the 1980s had cried out for a space for themselves. Of those married between 1990 and 1997, three-tenths made up trunk families with their parents, while only two tenths did so among those married between 1980 and 1989. "Some youths of the new generation consider it a suffocating burden to have their own family. They would rather enjoy the care of their parents," said Xu Zhimin, researcher at the Chinese Academy of Social Science. Xu said this also has to do with only children lacking basic skills in life. Research by the Chinese Academy of Social Sciences based on the three surveys also looks at the life cycle of urban families in China. With a span of 50-60 years, the family life cycle in China can be divided into six periods: the formation, expansion, stabilization, extraction in which some members pass away or leave, empty nest and disintegration in which all the senior members pass away while young generation build their own family. Most families are in the stabilization period. According to the 1997 survey, one-fifth of the families formed before 1970 were in the empty nest period, and three-fifths were core families and trunk families in the stabilization and extraction period. More than 75 percent of families formed between 1970 and 1990 were core families in the expansion, stabilization or extraction period. But this number declined to 60 percent among those who married between 1990 and 1994, and then fell to 40 percent in 1997, when more young couple prefer to stay with the parents. The family life cycle is sensitive to changes in social psychology, according to the Academy's research in 1997. However, no matter how much social psychology changes, "core, trunk and empty nest families will surely become the main kind of urban families in China," said Tan Shen.

Family –spring,summer, autumn and winter
   Different people have different ideas to family. To me, family means spring ,summer, autumn and winter. It characterizes each of the four seasons.

   Family –spring—original of family. Everything shows vitality in spring. Do you meet your girl-friend in spring? Summer—set up family. Throught fire experience that is similar to summer ,you may plan to set up your love nests. Autumn—harvest season. You have your own  baby, but you will be involved in many responsibility. Winter— family is your harbor escaping of cold in winter.

   In fact, original family style changed with the city life modernization .Many young people live together without marriage. It is a common phenomenon in modern society. But, whether now or before ,I think, only love can pull them together. Family should build up based on love. Without love, family doesn’t  exist only in name.

   Marriage is the end of puppy love, but not the end of love. Family is the carrier of love and the continuance of love. Actually, when you fall in love with somebody, your life is full of ideality. Family is not ideal life ,it is particular and realistic. Family life is different to your first love life. Therefore, when you are ready to marry, be sure to cool your idea temporarily. Once setting up your family, you may encounter many problems such as career and family, friends and wife.

   Career or family, which is more important? I used to be radical and thought one could not be a success in career and ,at the same time ,have a happy family life . Now I think a man engages in a career with the hope of having a happy life ,except for the few “extremely intelligent” ,who would choose career to the exclusion of family .In fact their lifes not complete ones; they have defects .Most people , including many great men ,such as scientists and merchants ,have much same experience .They are from birth to carefree childhood to troublesome adolescence, to dating to work ,to love ,to marriage ,to success in career ,then to old age .

   Read while you read .Love while you love ,whatever you do ,do it whole-heartedly . What is important is this,in my heart , I have a deep love for life , I will keep in high spirits . I love I marry but I still dream my own dream . I will follow the law of nature and pursuit what is beautiful in life . I will bring myself into full play .Only by so doing ,I will not regret anything in life. That is my true idea of family and career.

   Maybe in your family life ,baby is necessary .He or she become a belt between you and your wife. When he(she ) is born, your family gets into the autumn season of family, which means your family become whole. You may also should take responsibility. How to make him grown happily is more important. To child education, I think, every parent’s idea is similar, which is hoping their child to become useful to society. I have a little son,4-year old, now. Because I have to study in school, he lives with his mother in his grandmother’s family,so his education mainly relied on his mother. In my view, his education should be strict when he is young,when he grows up,relies on himself. I hope his future is beautiful, when he grows up ,he will be own healthy body- phychology condition and first of all ,he can learn how to living happily .I receive telephone every day from my wife, maily reporting my son daily life, sometimes she feels excited when her son is good, sometimes she feels angry when my son is naughty. But I can realize my wife may be exausted especially when our son catches a cold. However I can not help her in this condition. To me, I have not much experience to child education, I have to learn from book interrelated. In adition to your son, you have to deal with the relationship between parents-in-law and you. In the modern society ,many couples choose to live without their parents. Those reasons can be considered, the first one, they have a different life style. For many things ,they have different views though these were trifling things. In long term ,some arguements come to exist unavoidably between two parts.

   Secondly, under the modern life style ,they can not worry about their parents or parents-in-law for it is a convenient society. I have similar ideas. Different people have different  life, it is an individualized society. That is to say, some old ideas changed with changing of society.

About a Family, About both parties who  divorced  
   As a cell of our society, the model of family is changing significantly. In many families, the busy husbands and the busy wives, who put their heart and soul into the work, hardly have time to communicate their ideas with the spouses or to express their feelings. More and more children have to be taken care of by their grandmothers, grandfathers or nurserymaids. Besides that, there are various allurements around us, the loaves and fishes make many people egoistical. The desire for material wealth has contaminated the love which is originally pure and inviolable. On this condition, some people have difficulty controlling their emotions and forget their feelings of responsibility. They had cast away the loyalism, the sense of honor and the morality and justice. The divorce rate is increasing quickly. Although this maybe means liberation to one party, the other party is often left alone in the darkness and, worse luck, many legal guardians treat the children as a tool which could give vent to their flames of anger or coerce the other parties into compliance by every means of preventing them from visiting the children. The conscience can’t trouble them. The law, which says the other’s right of visit, is an utterly inadequate method in dealing with the emotional demands of the children. The poor and innocent children’s feelings are deeply hurt.    
   The husband and wife should not forget that the children’s little heart is susceptible to the quarrel between the father and the mother. As the children’s parents, every party should have a big heart to come to terms reciprocally in the interest of the children and bring up them with all the soul, no matter whom the legal guardian is.                                  
    It’s too late and unfair to children if we depend on the selfish parents’ soul-searching in the future. Loving children should not be only on the surface or by word of mouth. All infamies should die out. So modifying the law to punish the irresponsible parties further and to protect the innocent parties more perfectly should be a pressing need of our society. Unfortunately, in the name of protecting the legal guardians’ rights, the society is cutting to the children’s soul unfeelingly，saying nothing of the injured parties’ breaken hearts.
About a happy family
   Of course, most of the families are plain but happy, just like a sort of crusted drink, which be mild but continuously fragrant for ever. Although there are various kinds of happy families, the core of which is the “love”.
   First of all, this means “loyalty”. This is the “base line” or “red line” which none can can overstep. It is a essential principle for a steady family. When the man and woman decide to get married, the seed of unswerving allegiance should have taken root in their heart and would be blossom out and last them a lifetime in all weathers. This is a sort of unchangeable fidelity, not giving in to or being lured by the money, the beauty, the dazzling power and the position of status in the community. 
   Secondly, this means “duty”. It is hard to divorce love and duty. They bear all responsibilities for family and do housework together such as educating the child, doing the dishes, washing clothes, floor, windows and so on. Husband is duty bound to help his wife and vice versa. No one has the right to abandon the other in trouble.
   Thirdly, this means “filial piety”. Do not forget the duty to our parents. Every one should relate well to his or her parents, respect and support their parents heart and soul, especially the other’s ones. 
   Fourthly, this means “warm lough”. One could confide to the other freely, being consoled by the other. They could find ways to overcome the difficulties in front of them, enjoy the vernal breezes, the fresh air, the bright sunlight, the imposing view, the stirring movies and taste the joys of the happy life together.        

   Finally, this means “acceptance” or “compromise”. Either husband or wife should respect each other’s life-style, accept and understand her or his not only the virtue but also the shortcoming. It is important for a harmonious family. After all, every member of the family is a independent person, who has some unique character brought up by his or her own habitation, experience, the degree of being educated and so on. They might have a difference sometimes. Thus it is normal that they had a quarrel about something, but they know how to use reason to solve problems. Appropriate quarrel can smoothen the relationship and achieve a better understanding of each other. If they quarrel about trivial matters, the husband must make a compromise initiatively. For example, when the wife is in a temper or get angry about something, the husband, ipso facto, should console her or bite his tongue. When the wife calm down, they put the axe in the helve together.
   On the other hand, to the best of his or her abilities, one, especially the husband, should remove the faults or give up the bad habits such as smoking and drinking. 

  
My daughter
   My daughter is 8 years old,and her name is Wangtianjiao.Sometimes my wife and I call her byname “small monkey”.She is a very lovely girl.I can not express my feeling by words when I saw her photos taken in different courses of her growing-up.I think she is my “heart”.Besides she is a very clever child ,who can recite poetries ﹑tell stories and draw many kinds of animals and fruits.To my delight,she is interested in English conversations as well as cartoons.When she was 6 months old,she was sensetive to music in cartoons.Looking at interesting pictures,she always could not help laughing.She becomes more and more interested in cartoons.As soon as she return home after school,she switch on TV and turn to cartoon channel.She was so absorbed in cartoons that even forget to come back to the dinner desk.Besides cartoons, she have the interest in English.She often ask me some words such as mango,hedgehog and black beetle and so on.Then I always lose my head and realize how poor words I knew .So I also have learned some words which is rarely used. In my family,daughter is a“VIP” when we decide to do some things.For example,during the last spring festivel,I wanted to visit Hainan province,where is warm and a very comfortable scenic spot for people in winter.But at last,we came back to the hometown in Anhui province just because my wife and daughter liked to stay with the close friends working in the hometown.My daughter like to hold some special party when the festivals are appoching ,including the National Day,the Children’s Day and the Christmas day.At that time,she and her friends danced, sang and told stories.Sometimes she invited my wife and I as judges in their plays of telling stories. Thus all her friends like to play with her. In a word ,my daughter is a lovely,pretty girl in my family.

        
    My son is 4 years old,his name is XingXing.Sometime I and my wife call his English name “Star”.He is very lovely boy.The birth of my son make me great joyous.I can not express my feeling by language seeing his growth.I think he is the most succeed work in my lifetime and best gift that God give me.
XingXing is very clever child.By teaching,he can recite poetry ﹑speak story﹑draw some animal and fruit.He also can say simple English conversation.In his hobby ,it is interest why he is so like automobile.When he was 1 year,he began to like car.I know all child have the interest in collecting toy.Almost all boys like the toy of car.But I do not know the reason why my son only like car.He is not interest in the toy of airplane,ship, motorcycle.These kinds toys also can movement.As a adult view,these toy belong to the same kind as car.Since a child like car,he should like airplane and ship.Perhaps it is different adult and child.When I or my wife ask my son“what you want”? The answer always is car.When ask him“what is you most like car”? The answer always is Ferrari(a famous Italy racing car). He not only like car,but also is a specialist about car.He can tell you the name of car,such as Honda﹑Audi﹑Volvo﹑Lexus﹑Alfa Romeo﹑Benz﹑BMW﹑Cadillac﹑Maserati.When he see a unfamiliar car,he always want to understand it.He also know the terminology of engine, horsepower, fuel tank,et al.In order to answer his question,I had to buy many journal and take him to see exhibiton of automobil.So I also have known the some knowledge about car.I often say “my son help me study automobil”.XingXing is also a friendly buy.Although he look more stronger and taller than other same age children,but he never bully them.When he and his friend have contradictory,he always tell the teach or make a concession.For a adult, perhaps this is not a correct method.But for a kindhearted and cultivated child, his behavior is good.In familiarity surroundings,he is very actively,he can singing or dancing by watching TV.But in an unfamiliarity surroundings,he is a shy child.he do not like talk with unfamiliarity people.At beginning,he did not like go to kindergarten,because he feel he was restrained.After familiar with teacher and small friends,he like go to kindergarten.
   While my son give me happiness,he also give me great pressure.After my son birth,I understand it is not enough to only have love.As a father,I must have ability to raise and educate him.The ability include love, knowledge and money. Everyone knows money is very important.Without money,you can not do anything.But I really realizd it’s important after I have son.Before I my son birth,my living is quite simple. After work,I spend leisure time in reading book﹑watching television and movie﹑chatting with my wife.Because these activity need not much money ,so I have no the pressure about it.After my son birth,the condition is different. From my experience, enough money is necessary for the growth of child.When he is a baby,he need diaper﹑milk powder.Because I and my wife had to work, I had to employ a nursemaid to take care of him .These need money.With age increasing, his education need more money than diaper et al.I am afraid of my son feeling his living and study circumstances is bad than other child.Of course ,money is not everything ,but no money you can not do anything , especially for a man who has child. So my son give me great pressure, especially about money.Although pressure existence ,but I have confidence to satisfied his need ,because I love my son.
   Like all fathers,I have many expectation to my son.The most expectation is he have a happy life.In order to have a happy life,I hope he is healthy.The health include physical health and psychic health.All of parents know the important of physical health.Without a good body ,one can not to do anything.But if a child only has good physique,without good psyche,he could not have a happy life.In the cuorse of growth,children may have much setback and failure.Only he is healthl in psyche, he could overcome these difficulty.So I hope the character of my son is firm and endurant.I also hope he has some humor.Besides healer,he must have knowledge.Because of obtaining knowledge most be in school at present,so I hope my son had better pass university education.If he has chance and talent,I do not object to he go to foreign country to study .This is not to say the education in foreign country is better than our country.But different education system has its advantages.After different country education,perhaps his knowledge constitution is more perfection.Of course,he must have a good job after receving school education.The kind of occupation is not important.Every job has its value for mankind,such as doctor﹑engineer﹑teacher﹑accountant﹑businessman.But I do not hope my son is a professional sportsman,this occupation is too cruel.
   In the last,I want to say for the people who do not plan to have child“child can give you happiness and make you life more substantial”.

         
 my baby let me learn more about the worry.
   At present, with the development of society, great changes have taken place in family in past decades.Changes present the following new characteristics and bring about related issues.
Firstly,diversified family styles occurs in the present society,including traditional style-extended family, nucleus family, simplex family due to high divorce rate etc. Though changes of family styles maybe a tendency and have their reasons, these changes also bring some social problems. For example, for senior, emptiness and solitude/loneliness from retirement will accompany with them, because they do not live together with their children. For junior, they confront excessive pressure from work and family due to no other people sharing their burden who live toghther with, such as tending children.
   Secondly, internal and external relations of family are changing. Modern people have a feeling that they are becoming more and more isolated from each other. There are three reasons for this: on the one hand, modern people have greater tension due to fierce competion, high speed life rhythm,so it is not convenient for them to meet each other freely. On the other hand, the wide use of telephone and emergence of the internet prevent modern people from seeing each other quite often. Instead of sitting together ,talking face to face,members of family watch TV immediately after dinner instead of sitting at table after dinner to communicate each other.In addition, since members in a family work in different place, sometimes they are far away each other.Even in holiday, they express their congratulations by telephone or E-mail instead of meeting and talking to each other. Meanwhile, spare time of modern people are occupied by various kinds of entertainments and activities,which also reduce face to face communication. Thus a feeling of isolation arises.
   Thirdly, family model in division of labour is mainly a traditional status: Daddy works hard outside, Mommy is at home. Income of family does not correspondingly increase , so, for general family, it is difficult to support family only depending on daddy’s wage. Moreover , people are confronting with fierce contending pressure, at any moment, facing with unemployment threat.Once he is fired, family will not have any source for daily living and great difficulties will wait for his family. Subsequently, escessive pressure bring troubles to the relation between husband and wife, sometimes result in frequently quarrels, family violence even divorce.
   Fourthly , one child policy is a basic national policy, no doubt this policy exert great functions in relieving the pressure of employment and shortage of resources, preventing famine and diseases,as well as relieving family burden. but it is not favorable to cultivate normal character,such as cooperation and team spirit. Characters of children in such family often present selfish and eccentric.Fostering of children often bring pressure to their parents,who always are concern about their children’future.
Family is a cell of society, so it is directly related to social stability and personal health and happiness. Everyone always expects to have a well-being family. Generally, ideal family should include the following aspects. First of all, it is a family,where all members stay healthy. Second,it is a family,where people can get warmth, help, comfort, strength and sharing happiness and enjoying life. Meanwhile , it should also be a source of laughter,which is a good means to relieve the tension and pressure. Third,it also help us establish our self-confidence,which is crucial to our futher development and mental health. Last, “family isn’t about whose blood you have, it is about who you care about”, it means that a family whether a extended family or a nucleus family, where every member not only get help and care from other members, but also it need your more dedication,care and fostering.Dedication and claim embody equality among members of family as well as between business .
   Facing numerous problems in family, the following items may help to solve present obstacles. First of all, as much as possible members in a family communicate each other, meanwhile, people need to be fully aware of the fact that the modern ways of communication cannot take the place of the traditional ones. Sending e-mails cannot have the same effect as writing or face-to-face talk. Traditional ways should be encouraged and people can write letters as much as possiblely. Communication may relieve sense of solitude and frustration, let them feel care and warmth from other members. Communication is also very important for marriage. As we know , quarrels are often seen between spouses,sometimes unexpected    quarrelsd occur.To avoid adverse influence of quarrel, you should find a chance to sincerely communicate and recognize mistakes each other.Communication with children benefit his or her mental and physical development, because child have few chances to communicate with others except for parents due to one child policy.In addition,the family should often take part in activites outside,such as travel,to create a warm atmosphere which will help to relieve various pressure and physical and mental health.There is a new and popular idea in modern society,that is , the people need to know how to enjoy life.

      
Friend and Family
   Human beings are social animals. They do not live in isolation, who need each other physically emotionally.
   In the modern society, work is becoming more and more complicated. Seldom can one find a job which can be done by oneself alone. Cooperation is necessary not only in doing work but also in our life because life itself is based upon a relationship of serving one another.Besides, friends can help you solve problems which you come across and help you enjoy your life which is very precious. I think every one has ever experienced such happiness as learning for his good friends, having a good time with others.Friendship means being friendly to each other or making friends with one other. When you work in your offices or company, you may have some friends besides the colleagues. True and lasting friendship is based on a solid foundation which you lay while you are making a friend. Then you can have sincere friends to share the same ideal or even hardship with you. While marching towards your common objector, or doing a same project, you can help each other, encourage each other when you confront some hard nuts. If you make a mistake, your friend will not hesitate to point it out for you, because he knows the frank criticism will help.
    What you need is this type of genuine friendship.But, things are not so simple and easy as one wish. It is inevitable that there will be some conflict and disagreement between you and your friend. Sociologists say that it’s surprising how often a dispute results from a simple misunderstanding between two friends. So when problems arise, you and your friend may talk to each other frankly and openly. Try every possible means to solve the problem to heal the feelings and mend the friendship.As everybody knows, it is difficult to make a true friend and it is even harder to keep the friendship everlasting with him.And also, one must treasure his family say, parents, sisters or brothers. You couldn’t live alone away for your family ever since you were born. As saying goes, blood is thicker than water. After working, you are sure to come back home to enjoy your family life, eating together, watching TV or talking with each other. You may share happiness with your family while you may consult with them, if you have some difficulty in working or something, and try to cope with them together.A family is a core of the society, the center of the society and the element, which consists of the society. Everybody needs a stable society as well as a harmonious family.Sometimes, however, there will be some contradiction between the family members, or some different opinions say, how to educate your kid, who will take care of the senior parents and which to buy first, car or house etc. If it happens, you may sit and discuss the matter comprehensively and thoroughly. And find a proper solution or wise decision.For example, when one couple want to buy an apartment, they may have various ideas on where it should be located, at what price they should pay, even at which floor it is suitable. No matter what different opinions they may have, the couple should consult with each other, or husband may give in when his wife insists. And if you want to mallet your family life happy, easy or enjoyable, you may spend much time to relax yourselves, say, go outing during the weekends, traveling, dining out.
   Don’t be workaholic or alcoholic. Some couples are only working, working and working while others may drink, dance or gamble all the time, which means extremities. There is no happiness in either type of the families mentioned above.The ideal family is that the members are caring each other, encouraging each other and helping each other. The ideal family life is that they work hard, have a prospect plan and enjoy themselves on their spare time.In a word, all a person has in life is family and friend. If you have
both, good family and truly friends you will find life worth living.

Dear chuang chuang,
   Now, you are leaving for Lanzhou, your hometown, you are in the train, perhaps, you are fall asleep beside your mum,a tired sign write on your face.Yes, you are too tired during these days. Now, dad was standing on the platform, seeing the fast train out of my sight, however, you and your mum's figure and smile still in my mind. During the golden week of the National Holiday, mum and you came to shanghai,we spended a busy, tired and wonderful holiday. I think the episodes occured in these days are deserving of memory for my whole life. Now, you are back to hometown, and a warm home wait for you. Here, dad like to conmunicate with you, even i know that you can't read it, however, the conmunication is not only words to words, but also heart to heart.When you grow up ,you will read it and feel the emotion, i believe it.
   Time passed quickly, dad has already find his life partner and set up his own family. Spring came again, dad came to Shanghai, the famous modern city of China, to take part in the entrance examination of medical doctor in Second Military Medical Univisity. No pains no gains, in summer , dad received enroll notice, at that moment , I ware of my leaving from you and your mum, it is time of departure for me. On 26th august in 2004, I got in the train to Shanghai, on that day ,becouse you were ill, stayed in the hospital for treatment, so dad say goodbye to you and your grandmother in the ward, they can not see me off at the train station due to you were undergoing treatment. I kissed your face and turn over quickly, at that moment I saw something twinkling in grandmother’s eyes. The train run fast no the earth, dad had nothing joy and excitement for my own success. I saw the quickly passed woods and hills out of the window, lots of episodes occured in my mind……In the memory, the busy days were not clear, the vivid things were your smile and growth at every moments, and even your cry. In the memory , all kinds of disharmony and hardships due to take care of you can not disturb my feeling. Every time ,seeing your pure eyes, shareing your smile, listening your clearer voice day by day, it was a touched happiness, a everlasting happiness which can not be substituted for whole life. Every time, when you said to me “dad I love you , I miss you”, a kind of easy and treasurable happiness emerged into my mind, just like a warm stream passed over the body, at the moment , the life become easy, dad has enough energy and courage to face all difficulities.
   Do you know,my dear son,when you came to the world, you become a major part of my life, i came to really understand the ture meaning of the life and ture process of growth.Your coming brought a new ponder to me, how to explain the life, how can we reward my parents, just like the relationship between prosperous leaf and wane trunk.
   Do you know,my dear son, your growth brought great pleasure for me, i wish you grow up healthy, meanwhile, your growth also brought me a menace. I know today's growth is to accumulate energy for move from us in the future. Dad and mum even wish you always like today, naughty, happiness and no feeling of sadness, however, we knew growth should be a tough thing, we would do everything for you to add a piece of power to improve your energy, even your growth is a sign of our loneliness.
Do you know,my dear son, everytime, your mum and i want to give your the best gift , however, we can't, we give you the deep love just like all common parents in the world. We set up a safe and warm home for you, there no hunger, danger and cold for ever, you can rest in it at anytime. Dad and mum will guard and maintain the home with our love for you in the life. We wish you grow in this common family healthy and access a heart with courage, kindness and wisdom.
   Do you know, my dear son, perhaps mum and dad can not provide you with high living condition, and can not dote on you, even you will experience our strict requirements, however, we really love you from our hearts, even better than love ourselves, we give you a sweat family and help you stride your first step in your life. We image one day, a strong, high, brave, wise and honest ture man would stand in front of us, it is time for you to move from us, by then, mum and dad will congratulate on your maturity and success.
Ok, my dear son, you just three and a half years old, you really can't feel dad's felling, but i believe you may fell it in the future. Did you see a full and bright moon out of the window, that is dad’s eyes looking at you, good night ,best wishes for you and your mum!

Family:a Bible of life

   Having been married for three years,the family like a Bible teaching me too much lores that maybe can’t acquired from the classroom books.
   1Warm of the family Sometime,I feel tired ,sick or depressed for different causes. when I return home, the warm, harmonious atmosphere of family would lift my spirits and make me fill better,relaxed . Open communicate with my wife also ease stress.
   2The strength of love When I was single,had too many bad habits,such as smoking,keeping to the bottle, sleep late(sorry,I am surgeon,there are many invite).I told myself “stop,stop , stop”.I initially tried with great ambition.Unlukily,I finally gave up.After married,my wife always waits for me come back home eating meal together.When I come home late,she never falls asleep. I was moved and compunctious.For that I refused many banquets and then broke the bad habits slowly.
   3Changing my timeworn idea I always think the man mostly earn money,household belongs to womanThe family tell me that husband and wife share in household together.If one spouse assume more household burden,for long time,the house will be became boring and lumbersome site.a hell,not paradise.In China,we often hear: “behind a successful man,there are always a great waman”,but it is uanfair.Recently,I go to kitchen frequently for my wife returns home late due to work.I really have gotten a feel for the bother of household.
   4 The family is the nucleus of living. Five years ago,I was too busy to have time accompany with my girlfriend.My friend told me that “the core of life isn’t the work, but is the family,whatever you have obtained,without family, you have nothing”.When I was married, I really realize what he said. In childhood,we had various colorful dreams.As married,Your hope,impetus and joy almostly derived from the family. Whatever you are busy,you should set apart assured period of time for family.
   5 Nurturance favor Acompanying with the God’s gift- my baby comes into the world .My family is filled with the excitement and happiness . Synchronously,everyday is soaked the nurturance hardships.My wife and mother-in-law never has a good sleeping at first trimester.,without any complains. Nurturance favor is generous,great.Asking ourselves:“why we grow so fit?”,everyone must filial respect parents.
   6Who am I?Last summer on holiday trip, a sudden storm poured down on the ridge, we was in danger.A idea came from my mind:what happened if I was died?Oh,my little son,my wife,they emerged in my eyes firstly.How can they do?I am a husband,a father.I represent not only for myself.
   7Family is a whole body.This fall,I resigned my job come Shaihei to read for Doctor degree with my wife.Money doesn’t grow on trees.It is difficult to seek ask for job in Shanghei.The hope gone with the resume sended out for many times,always no job interviews be received. My wife feels depressed,whiney,and fractious,frequently quarrelled with me for some trivia.One day,she aske me whether I enquire a company for her job.”Yes ,I followed your designation,but they rejected your application”I replied impatiently.”No,it not for myself,but for us”.She said.Yes,the family is a body,when your family at the corner ,maybe the life tell you the simple principle.The every member of the family is in the same boat,you should share in responsibility, get over difficulty together.
   8Keep family alive Family is the cell of society In the development and progresion of human society.The family plays an important role.Every high cultivated familys would build up a heathy, civilized, orderly ,promising society.It is a long way for this world.. As the early romance stage gone with time.Many couples may slack up their passion. To keep family alive is a challenge for us.Communication is central to family.After my son was born,our topic always concerned with baby: bottles, diaper, babywear and so on,weary!One night I turned to literature topic,my wife was inspired and interested. China, foreign, Archaian, contemporaneity.By improved communication can strengthen our relationship.From then ,we expand our topics which contain news,film,music,travel, drollery ,and even the most sensitive subjects,such as sex life,anything.Also, communication should be honest,open to the other person.Couples should listen to each other,then you may feel intimate,warm and connected. Learn forgiveness.Forgiveness can help the couples realize and justify their improper behavior,and forgiveness prevents more hurts for your family.“I’m sorry,my deaar,please forgive me”.Don’t stick up for your amour-propre,apologizing may thaw the ice and meliorate your relationship.
  Love is the heart of the family.When you go out for study, evection.Remember paying care and attention for your family by the telephone or e-mail.On Valentine’s day,prepare rose,candy,cards,express your love .Try to do some new thing and enjoy life together like mountain climbing or hold a party.Sure,don’t forget your wedding day,birthday of your spouse and baby.It is not realistic for you do something on these special days every year.But remember that may tell your family that you love them in heart.